SELF-CONFIDENCE
W. John Murray
The Astor
Lectures
Divine Science Publishing Assoc.
New York, 1917, 8th ed.
"If ye have the faith of a grain of
mustard seed, ye shall say unto this
mountain, Remove hence to yonder place,
and it shall obey you, and nothing
shall be impossible unto you."
--Matt. 18:20.
[73] Cicero
says, "Confidence is that feeling by
which the mind embarks in great and
honorable courses with a sure hope and
trust in itself." Self-confidence is the
essence of all true achievements. He who
has lost it has nothing more to lose, for
without self-confidence a man is as
spineless as a banana. If one could
analyze the causes which make for so many
of the failures in life, the lack of
self-confidence would surely head the
list.
Not only
failures in business, but failures in
every department of life are more or less
attributable to this pernicious mental
condition. As bacteriologists seek for
antitoxins to offset every poison in the
physical organism, we should do likewise
in the realm of Thought. A foe to peace,
such as lack of self-confidence
undoubtedly is, should be met and
mastered if there is ever to be real
happiness in the world. When an actor
[74] tells me that he loves his art, and
that he never has any difficulty in
memorizing the most difficult parts, or
playing them at rehearsals, but always
falls down when it comes to public
performances, I am not astonished. Stage
fright is a malady, and it is not
confined to the first few months of a
man's career, as some may imagine. All
too frequently it is the unseen force
which attends some actors all through
life, making them appear mediocre, when
in reality they should be
magnificent.
Here is a
woman with a rare voice who needs an
opportunity to bring it before the
public. Much time and money have been
spent in its cultivation, and it ought
now to be of some financial value.
Managers are interviewed and appointments
made, but when the fateful day arrives
the woman with the glorious voice is in a
state of collapse. If the appointment is
not called off with some lame excuse on
her part, it is kept with fear and
trembling, and since fear and trembling
are not helpful to the vocal organs, the
trial is a dismal failure. The world is
full of capable actors and singers whose
abilities are crippled by a consciousness
of fear that amounts to terror.
Lack of
self-confidence, however, is not limited
to actors and singers. A lawyer, whose
written briefs display a most profound
knowledge of jurisprudence, becomes a
veritable infant when pleading a case
before the bar. A shyster lawyer with a
smattering of law, but with an abundance
[75] of self-assertion, confuses the
scholarly attorney to such an extent that
the most important points are frequently
lost sight of, to his subsequent chagrin
and his client's detriment.
Here is a
saintly character in the ministry whose
written sermons are the source of
inspiration to all who read them. Put him
in the pulpit and he stammers and
stutters. He has confidence in God, but
not in himself. It is not that he is
physically unfit, for in his study he
recites his sermon in stentorian tones,
but once in the pulpit, it is a different
matter. He suffers from loss of memory,
and the sound of his own voice appalls
him. He thinks he is shouting, when as a
matter of fact, the people in the rear
pews cannot hear him, and wearying in
their effort to do so, they not
infrequently fall asleep. He has all the
confidence in the world in the Truth
embodied in his sermon, but he lacks
self-confidence in his own ability to
preach it. The consequence is that his
well-written but poorly preached sermon
is more of a narcotic than a cure.
Lack of
self-confidence is not limited to men and
women whose professions bring them most
prominently before the public, for we
find it killing the joy of those who live
the most secluded lives. In fact, I am
persuaded that countless thousands live
secluded lives, not because of personal
preference, but because of this
particular form of unconscious cowardice.
Lacking self-confidence, they not only
lack initiative, but they dread to meet
people.
[76] One can
understand an ill-clad, unlettered person
hesitating to obtrude his personality
into the society of the well-dressed and
cultured, but how often those with every
excellent qualification retire into the
background of solitude! They crave human
companionship and the appreciation of
others, but they have no appreciation of
themselves, and since the tendency of
others is to appraise men at the value
they place upon themselves, it is not to
be wondered at that invitations are few
and infrequent. Any coxcomb with a lot of
self-confidence may be kept busy through
his social engagements, while a really
clever person without it is almost
completely ostracized.
Not all the
loneliness in the world is due to lack of
interest and hospitality on the part of
others. While we are chiding society for
not being interested in us, and perhaps
harboring thoughts of jealousy because
others are invited where we are not, it
might be well for us to ask ourselves the
reason. Is it because others are not
interested in us on general principles?
Is it because we are unconsciously
uninteresting? A friend of mine is a
veritable storehouse of knowledge, gained
from many years of close companionship
with the best literature; but one might
as well expect a sphinx to tell a
humorous anecdote as expect him to be
interesting. He is shy, timid, and
non-communicative. It is a pleasure to
read his books, but to be with him for
more than a few minutes at a time would
be subjecting one's own stock of
self-confidence to a severe strain. [77]
His lack of self-confidence in the
presence of others is painful not only to
them, but to himself as well. It is not
that he disdains his associates, as some
think, [as] he is so uninteresting, but
because he suffers from this all too
common malady. He has confidence in his
ability to write, but none in his ability
to make himself entertaining.
A young man
was offered the management of a certain
department in a large concern. He had
been with the company for years, and when
the head of his department was promoted,
he was chosen to take the place. He
thought it over for a few days and then
refused it on the ground that he did not
think the men in the department would
work as well for him as they did for the
old manager. The firm had confidence in
him, but he had none in himself. This is
an exaggerated instance of what is taking
place every day. Men exclude themselves
from positions, and women shut themselves
out of associations that would make for a
fuller measure of joyful living, and all
because of a lack of confidence in
themselves which would make for a greater
usefulness to humanity, as well as
greater happiness to themselves.
We are told
that timidity is as natural to some
people as is the color of their eyes, and
that there is no more cure for one than
there is for the other. If this were true
it would be lamentable; but it is not.
Demosthenes, the greatest orator of all
time, was a shrinking, timid youth, until
he [78] heard an oration which quickened
every emotion of his heart and thrilled
every fiber of his being. At the close of
the oration, he cried, "I, too, am an
orator!" He was laughed at and ridiculed
for his presumption until he hung his
head in shame. Something in him, however,
had been stirred and it would not let him
rest. Despite great physical
disadvantages and a voice which was most
hard and displeasing, he went to work. He
studied elocution under Satyrus, the
noted actor of the day, and did not
disdain to practice effects before a
mirror. He improved his breathing by
walking up hill, reciting as he went. He
corrected an impediment in his tongue by
speaking with a pebble in his mouth, and
to give his voice the quality of
far-reachingness, he declaimed by the sea
in stormy weather. His first public
oration, however, was a failure. He then
shaved the hair off one side of his head
so that he could neither visit his
friends nor have them come to see him.
For months he labored to perfect his art
and to increase his confidence in
himself. His next public appearance was a
tremendous success, and from that time on
he grew to be the greatest orator in
Greece, and, indeed, the most eloquent
speaker the world has ever known. With
all the natural endowments of the orator,
but with no self-confidence, Demosthenes
would never have been heard of, but
physically handicapped as he was, through
self-confidence he became the model of
all aspiring public speakers.
[79] Let us
bring this question down into the world
of trade, and what do we find? Two men
start out to sell the same line of goods.
These goods are of such reliable
character and of such staple necessity
that it would seem as if, in the sales
manager's language, they should "sell
themselves," but they do not, for the
simple reason that goods have no
intelligence. One man succeeds, and the
other fails. We say one man is a natural
salesman, while the other is not, but
when we push the inquiry further, we
discover that the reason for the
difference in the results is not in the
merchandise, but in the men. It is not a
muscular difference, but a mental one,
for it is the difference between
self-confidence and the lack of it.
While, like
Demosthenes, a man can rise above his
limitations by a supreme effort of the
will, there is a better and an easier
way, and this is pointed out in the Bible
reading of the morning. (I Sam. 17.) The
triumph of David over Goliath is not the
triumph of one man over another quite so
much as it is the triumph of principles.
When a man's self-confidence is based
upon his conscious connection with God in
all the affairs of his life, nothing can
intimidate him. With such an ally, one
can meet and overcome the most formidable
obstacles. David was not fighting in his
own strength, but in the strength of Him
in Whom there is no fear and no failure.
Self-confidence which leaves God out of
the question is egotism and is doomed to
disappointment.
[80] When a
man remembers that the unseen Guest at
every table is God, and that the Silent
Partner in every legitimate enterprise is
the Holy Spirit, he becomes endowed with
a self-confidence that nothing can
destroy nor defeat. His strength is as
the strength of ten. Experiences that
would terrify without the spiritual
self-confidence, become stepping-stones
to greater things. Trials of faith are
the growing pains of the soul teaching
us, as they always do, that while we of
ourselves can do nothing, through the
Christ which worketh in us we can do
all things.
To him who
realizes his unity with God, the Wise man
saith, "When thou liest down thou shalt
not be afraid; yea thou shall lie down,
and thy sleep shall be sweet. Be not
afraid of sudden fear, neither of the
desolation of the wicked when it cometh.
For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and
shall keep thy foot from being taken. My
confidence is in Him in Whom I live and
move and have my being."
Next: The Divine
Mission
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